Driving Quotes
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams. ~Mary Ellen Kelly
Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead. ~Mac McCleary
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries
The civilized man has built a coach, but has lost the use of his feet. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self-Reliance," 1841
It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road. ~Author Unknown
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. ~Dudley Moore
A pedestrian is someone who thought there were a couple of gallons left in the tank. ~Author Unknown
Leave sooner, drive slower, live longer. ~Author Unknown
It wasn't the Exxon Valdez captain's driving that caused the Alaskan oil spill. It was yours. ~Greenpeace advertisement, New York Times, 25 February 1990
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race. ~H.G. Wells
Your grandchildren will likely find it incredible — or even sinful — that you burned up a gallon of gasoline to fetch a pack of cigarettes! ~Dr. Paul MacCready, Jr.
A city that outdistances man's walking powers is a trap for man. ~Arnold Toynbee
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. ~Albert Einstein
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. ~Author Unknown
Hug your kids at home, but belt them in the car. ~Author Unknown
A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. ~American Proverb
Americans are broad-minded people. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater, and even a newspaperman, but if a man doesn't drive, there is something wrong with him. ~Art Buchwald, "How Un-American Can You Get?," Have I Ever Lied to You?, 1966
Modern technology
Owes ecology
An apology.
~Alan M. Eddison
Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. ~Author Unknown
When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio. If all the stations are rock and roll, there's a good chance the transmission is shot. ~Larry Lujack
The car has become the carapace, the protective and aggressive shell, of urban and suburban man. ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media
Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due. ~Author Unknown
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers. ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"
The longest journey begins with a single step, not with a turn of the ignition key. ~Edward Abbey
Restore human legs as a means of travel. Pedestrians rely on food for fuel and need no special parking facilities. ~Lewis Mumford
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. ~Steven Wright
The car has become a secular sanctuary for the individual, his shrine to the self, his mobile Walden Pond. ~Edward McDonagh
A commuter tie-up consists of you — and people who for some reason won't use public transit. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. ~Author Unknown
Consider the man on horseback, and I have been a man on horseback for most of my life. Well, mostly he is a good man, but there is a change in him as soon as he mounts. Every man on horseback is an arrogant man, however gentle he may be on foot. The man in the automobile is one thousand times as dangerous. I tell you, it will engender absolute selfishness in mankind if the driving of automobiles becomes common. It will breed violence on a scale never seen before. It will mark the end of the family as we know it, the three or four generations living happily in one home. It will destroy the sense of neighborhood and the true sense of Nation. It will create giantized cankers of cities, false opulence of suburbs, ruinized countryside, and unhealthy conglomerations of specialized farming and manufacturing. It will make every man a tyrant. ~R.A. Lafferty, "Interurban Queen," 1970, a short story set in the late 1800s (Thanks, Sam!)
Automobiles are not ferocious.... it is man who is to be feared. ~Robbins B. Stoeckel
No one should be able to enter a wilderness by mechanical means. ~Garrett Hardin, The Ecologist, February 1974
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. ~Lewis Mumford
The shortest distance between two points is under construction. ~Noelie Altito
Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Driving a brand new car feels like riding around in an open billfold with the dollars flapping by your ears as they fly out the window. ~Grey Livingston
A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. ~Bill Vaughan
I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers—as long as they use the part that's behind me. ~Author Unknown
Each year it seems to take less time to fly across the ocean and longer to drive to work. ~Author Unknown
If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane. ~Author Unknown
It helps if you don't see it as traffic but rather as thousands of individuals resolved to press on another day. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. ~Author Unknown
The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. ~Jason Love
Making a left turn in L.A. is one of the harder things you're going to learn in life. ~Lawrence Kasdan and Meg Kasdan, (movie), spoken by the character Mack
I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian.... That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday. ~Will Rogers
Most of American life consists of driving somewhere and then returning home, wondering why the hell you went. ~John Updike
A driver is a king on a vinyl bucket-seat throne, changing direction with the turn of a wheel, changing the climate with a flick of the button, changing the music with the switch of a dial. ~Andrew Malcolm
Recklessness is a species of crime and should be so regarded on our streets and highways. ~Marlen E. Pew
Space is a never-ending race track. The thermal shock region on the prow of our solar system, for example, is screaming through the heavens at 490,000 miles an hour. Earth is hurtling round the sun at 67,000 miles an hour. God, it seems, is a complete speed freak. ~Top Gear, series 16, episode 6
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said "Parking Fine." ~Tommy Cooper
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere! ~Author unknown, as seen on a shirt
All in favor of conserving gasoline, please raise your right foot. ~Author Unknown
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. ~E.B. White, One Man's Meat, 1943
The greater part of my official time is spent on investigating collisions between propelled vehicles, each on its own side of the road, each sounding its horn, and each stationary. ~An English Lord Chief Justice, quoted in 2,715 One-Line Quotations for Speakers, Writers & Raconteurs by Edward F. Murphy
Life is too short for traffic. ~Dan Bellack
I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night—especially since I walked there. ~Author Unknown
Before someone gets their driver's license they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off. ~Author Unknown
For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal Driving" sign? ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways. ~Will Rogers
What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise can you imagine the awful screeching? ~Samuel Hoffenstein
Take most people, they're crazy about cars. They worry if they get a little scratch on them, and they're always talking about how many miles they get to a gallon, and if they get a brand-new car already they start thinking about trading it in for one that's even newer. I don't even like old cars. I mean they don't even interest me. I'd rather have a goddam horse. A horse is at least human, for God's sake. ~J.D. Salinger, Catcher in the Rye
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend. ~Doug Larson
No other man-made device since the shields and lances of the knights quite fulfills a man's ego like an automobile. ~William Rootes
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. ~Jason Love
Speed Limit – A sign that tells you at what speed the car that's rapidly fading from view in your rearview mirror is going; a law that provides the sole means of support for many small-town police departments. ~Richard Turner (1937-2011), The Grammar Curmudgeon, a.k.a. "The Mudge," from "The Curmudgeon's Short Dictionary of Modern Phrases"
Road sense is the offspring of courtesy and the parent of safety. ~Australian Traffic Rule, quoted in Quotations for Special Occasions by Maud van Buren
The automobile is technologically more sophisticated than the bundling board, but the human motives in their uses are sometimes the same. ~Charles M. Allen
The car has become... an article of dress without which we feel uncertain, unclad, and incomplete. ~Marshall McLuhan, Understanding Media, 1964
Eighty percent of the people of Britain want more money spent on public transport — in order that other people will travel on the buses so that there is more room for them to drive their cars. ~John Selwyn Gummer, The Independent, 1994
And I, I took the road less traveled by. I was using a GPS system. ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
[T]hey both knew that the basis of her invariable reluctance about new cars was not thrift but sentiment. She simply could not endure the moment when the old one was driven away.
As for cars, they were in a class apart, somewhere between furniture and dogs. It wasn't, with her, a question of the pathetic fallacy. She did not pretend to herself that cars had souls or even minds (though anybody, seeing the difference that can exist between one mass-produced car and another, might be excused for believing that they have at least some embryonic form of temperament). No, it was simply a matter of mise en scène. A car, nowadays, was such an integral part of one's life, provided the aural and visual accompaniment to so many of one's thoughts, feelings, conversations, decisions, that it had acquired at least the status of a room in one's house. To part from it, whatever its faults, was to lose a familiar piece of background.
~Jan Struther, Mrs. Miniver, 1930s
It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions." ~Robert Brault, rbrault.blogspot.com
Walking isn't a lost art — one must, by some means, get to the garage. ~Evan Esar
The speedway ends at the cemetery. ~Author Unknown
We are not proving ourselves spiritually worthy of our material progress. We have not been neighborly, courteous, and kind upon the highway. Our lack of decency toward our fellow men is a definite black mark against us. ~Cary T. Grayson
Two-hundred forty horsepower isn't enough to move me anymore. Enough to move my body, yes, but not my soul. ~S.A. Sachs
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. ~Curtis McDougall
The automobile has not merely taken over the street, it has dissolved the living tissue of the city. Its appetite for space is absolutely insatiable; moving and parked, it devours urban land, leaving the buildings as mere islands of habitable space in a sea of dangerous and ugly traffic. ~James Marston Fitch, New York Times, 1 May 1960
Remember folks, street lights timed for 35 mph are also timed for 70 mph. ~Jim Samuels
I'm not sure... about automobiles.... With all their speed forward they may be a step backward in civilization — that is, in spiritual civilization. It may be that they will not add to the beauty of the world, nor to the life of men's souls. I am not sure. But automobiles have come, and they bring a greater change in our life than most of us suspect. They are here, and almost all outward things are going to be different because of what they bring. They are going to alter war, and they are going to alter peace. I think men's minds are going to be changed in subtle ways because of automobiles; just how, though, I could hardly guess. But you can't have the immense outward changes that they will cause without some inward ones, and it may be that... the spiritual alteration will be bad for us. Perhaps, ten or twenty years from now, if we can see the inward change in men by that time, I shouldn't be able to defend the gasoline engine, but would have to agree... that automobiles 'had no business to be invented.' ~Eugene, from Booth Tarkington's The Magnificent Ambersons, 1918
Remember the street car cannot turn out. ~Charles M. Hayes
Yes, Officer, I did see the speed limit sign. I just didn't see you. ~Author Unknown
I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe. ~Author Unknown
You can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamn contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbrush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail, you'll see something, maybe. ~Edward Abbey
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